The Power of Not Knowing

Forest suspension bridge

"I've not known most things, most of my life."

These words recently fell out of my mouth in a conversation with John Chilkotowsky, PCC. It was initially intended as a moment of self-depreciating humour, but John, the ever-present coach that he is, caught onto something deeper and encouraged me to sit with it.

So I did.

And the more I did, the more I realized that while there was some self-judgment baked into my statement ("Ugh, you can be so indecisive, Ashley"), it turns out that not-knowing is actually one of my superpowers. I might even be an Expert Not Knower.

There are plenty of things I actively and intentionally do not want to know: how to build a bridge, how electricity works, or what even is the internet.

Instead, I prefer to marvel at the magic of their existence - and the sheer brilliance of the scientists, engineers, and innovators who figured it all out. And thankfully, no one needs me to know how to build a physical bridge. 😉 

There's power in not knowing. When we lean into it, not knowing creates space for curiosity. For presence. For real listening. For asking questions that lead to insight, exploration, and discovery.

These are some of the core elements that make coaching so effective.

But not knowing isn't just for Expert Not Knowers, nor is it confined to a coaching session. Knowing how to not know is a powerful skill of leadership.

Leaders often feel pressure to have the answers. But in today's fast-paced, uncertain reality, their impact grows when they shift into asking better questions instead.

What would change if you gave yourself (and your team) a little more room to not know?